I want to make finger puppets of ourselves from like printing photos and cutting out so I'm looking up instructions for making finger puppets and I just do the search and open up all the tabs and go through and I'm just starting to feel ANXIETY about WHEN is Sylvia gonna wake up and when she does I'm not gonna be present because I don't have my mind together I need to just MEDITATE UGH!!!
After skimming through a few tabs, I'm just like OKAY, print and cut the photos and then attach them to whatever way you want to put it on your finger - those rainbow loom bands they could just be taped to those for Chrissake
And there's also this template I found http://www.kidenglish.net/upfile/201601/2016012678230273.pdf
I can print those and then just glue photo faces over the faces
Tuesday, May 26, 2020
Sunday, May 24, 2020
I am have too much
And I don't know I don't KNOW I never KNOW but I THINK maybe, no, that's not right...
I need to record my thoughts and I type very fast. I love to hand write on paper but I have way too much to say and I also have way too many notebooks! I just need to get shit out of my head there's so much I feel like I wanna do like but I just don't even wanna do it I need to decide WHAT to do and plan WHEN to do it it seems simple but it's soooo not. I really actually like to create lists of things. I search. I read, I collect search terms, and then I search, scroll, and collect compile categorize lists of interesting things. Things to check out. But it's just too much. I need a time limit. Everything in balance. Also I judge myself is it good is it bad it makes me feel good? I buy too many things on Amazon.
I want to get control of my days ... I want to decide things I want to do with Sylvia and be proactive and not just reactive when she starts whining from needing attention. And there are so many cool things but I can't do them until I'm ALL THE WAY ORGANIZED. And then my husband gets in the way. I'm trying to have a better relationship with him and I really just feel desperate for time to myself all the time. I just want to get through the time with other people so I can get back to my phone and internet things.
I got prescribed Wellbutrin and just started my first dose today so now I am on Adderall 30mg XR, Zoloft 200mg, and Wellbutrin 150. I also have a large collection of supplements and I've been taking Inositol, Magnesium Citrate, DHA, Inulin and a Probiotic daily, and Vitamin D3 5,000iu every other day.
My daughter is 2 and yesterday it just seemed like suddenly she's so TALL and I started to feel sad. Sometimes I feel like I'm just always going to have these billions of ideas in my head but the time will just go away and I'll actually just make it roll out of my reach even as I am thinking, I am doing this to myself, and then all my meds will help me soothe my disappointment because it's all okay and nothing matters. I really do love my vitamins. They work for me. I take others occasionally too. I feel like in this pandemic that is one way to keep things exciting. I don't know. I had a conversation with my husband last night that was like good-bad-good-bad. I HAVE to really honestly feel love and respect for him. IT's so hard when you live with someone and they irritate the shit out of you. We're having good days and bad. Mostly good. But sometimes REALLY bad.
I don't even know how to put into words the thoughts I'm having, just to myself in writing!!
I want to send Sylvia back to school but I also don't, because I don't know! And it's crazy that we HUGGED LouLou for her birthday during the pandemic. It just feels so weird. Cause I see articles about how the virus spreads so quickly and easily, and there was a news story about a guy who hugged some people in his family at a dinner before a funeral, and then they got infected and one person died. But everything is so fucked! I just scroll through r/coronavirus and I save articles. Skim and save.
I collect activities I wanna do with Sylvia. I just fart away the time. I feel great right now - I was definitely excited to get on Wellbutrin. I have heard about it for years, and I always think I'm bad for taking so many pills and I shame shame shame myself for everything I do that helps me feel good. It could be worse. I don't do heroin. But I have drunk too much more than a few times. Not recently though. UGH I want to get out of this space where I'm constantly evaluating myself on goody two shoes scales, god. If you feel good, great! Feel good and get out of your head. Do things. I also just don't want to do anything without extensively researching because the internet is so fun and I can always find really delightful things that no one else will find because they don't love to just search. Well maybe some people do? I'm probably not the only one that's like me. I just wanna be weird. Also I don't like other people. I like quarantine because I just hate socializing and making arrangements. Sometimes I just need to shut myself up because half of what I say I want to retract because no, I didn't mean that. Everything AND the opposite. That's what I am. But like, that's a PRIVILEGE to get to be that way. WHY CAN'T I JUST FOCUS ON SOMETHING SPECIFIC ONE THING AT A TIME AND WRITE A COHERENT THOUGHT?
I need to record my thoughts and I type very fast. I love to hand write on paper but I have way too much to say and I also have way too many notebooks! I just need to get shit out of my head there's so much I feel like I wanna do like but I just don't even wanna do it I need to decide WHAT to do and plan WHEN to do it it seems simple but it's soooo not. I really actually like to create lists of things. I search. I read, I collect search terms, and then I search, scroll, and collect compile categorize lists of interesting things. Things to check out. But it's just too much. I need a time limit. Everything in balance. Also I judge myself is it good is it bad it makes me feel good? I buy too many things on Amazon.
I want to get control of my days ... I want to decide things I want to do with Sylvia and be proactive and not just reactive when she starts whining from needing attention. And there are so many cool things but I can't do them until I'm ALL THE WAY ORGANIZED. And then my husband gets in the way. I'm trying to have a better relationship with him and I really just feel desperate for time to myself all the time. I just want to get through the time with other people so I can get back to my phone and internet things.
I got prescribed Wellbutrin and just started my first dose today so now I am on Adderall 30mg XR, Zoloft 200mg, and Wellbutrin 150. I also have a large collection of supplements and I've been taking Inositol, Magnesium Citrate, DHA, Inulin and a Probiotic daily, and Vitamin D3 5,000iu every other day.
My daughter is 2 and yesterday it just seemed like suddenly she's so TALL and I started to feel sad. Sometimes I feel like I'm just always going to have these billions of ideas in my head but the time will just go away and I'll actually just make it roll out of my reach even as I am thinking, I am doing this to myself, and then all my meds will help me soothe my disappointment because it's all okay and nothing matters. I really do love my vitamins. They work for me. I take others occasionally too. I feel like in this pandemic that is one way to keep things exciting. I don't know. I had a conversation with my husband last night that was like good-bad-good-bad. I HAVE to really honestly feel love and respect for him. IT's so hard when you live with someone and they irritate the shit out of you. We're having good days and bad. Mostly good. But sometimes REALLY bad.
I don't even know how to put into words the thoughts I'm having, just to myself in writing!!
I want to send Sylvia back to school but I also don't, because I don't know! And it's crazy that we HUGGED LouLou for her birthday during the pandemic. It just feels so weird. Cause I see articles about how the virus spreads so quickly and easily, and there was a news story about a guy who hugged some people in his family at a dinner before a funeral, and then they got infected and one person died. But everything is so fucked! I just scroll through r/coronavirus and I save articles. Skim and save.
I collect activities I wanna do with Sylvia. I just fart away the time. I feel great right now - I was definitely excited to get on Wellbutrin. I have heard about it for years, and I always think I'm bad for taking so many pills and I shame shame shame myself for everything I do that helps me feel good. It could be worse. I don't do heroin. But I have drunk too much more than a few times. Not recently though. UGH I want to get out of this space where I'm constantly evaluating myself on goody two shoes scales, god. If you feel good, great! Feel good and get out of your head. Do things. I also just don't want to do anything without extensively researching because the internet is so fun and I can always find really delightful things that no one else will find because they don't love to just search. Well maybe some people do? I'm probably not the only one that's like me. I just wanna be weird. Also I don't like other people. I like quarantine because I just hate socializing and making arrangements. Sometimes I just need to shut myself up because half of what I say I want to retract because no, I didn't mean that. Everything AND the opposite. That's what I am. But like, that's a PRIVILEGE to get to be that way. WHY CAN'T I JUST FOCUS ON SOMETHING SPECIFIC ONE THING AT A TIME AND WRITE A COHERENT THOUGHT?
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